


I’m Going To Title This Fanfic “Souda Machine” Because No One Can Stop Me:  A Fanfiction

by RedPen



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Pre-Despair, school fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-09-25 13:57:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9823577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedPen/pseuds/RedPen
Summary: After a series of shenanigans involving a broken vending machine, Souda is beginning to realize that Gundam is a cooler person than people give him credit for.





	

Souda didn’t ask for this today.

All he wanted were some potato chips. But the vending machine in the courtyard had Gundam Tanaka sprawled wildly against it, shielding it with his body while incoherently muttering some arcane curse that, upon closer inspection, might have actually been the lyrics to a catchy commercial jingle about canine flea medication.

Souda sighed in defeat and stuck his wallet back into the side pocket of his jumpsuit. “Man, what are you even doing?”

“This infernal machine is the shrine of a demon,” Gundam informed him gruffly, the low tilt of his gaze burning into Souda from just above the folds of his scarf. “Begone, mortal, lest you anger it.”

Souda looked around the school courtyard, wondering if there was anyone else around who could confirm that yes, this was really happening right now, but this late in the day it seemed to be empty. “Think you can convince it to give me some free chips?” he asked at last with an awkward smile, trying to disperse the tension.

Gundam continued to glare at him. “Only a fool would toy with the spirit world for personal gain.”

“So, no?”

“…It’s out of order,” Gundam managed at last, tearing his gaze away. “Again, begone.”

“Ate your money, huh?” Souda grinned.

Gundam muttered something sullen and incoherent.

“Hah, hey, technology messes up sometimes. That doesn’t mean it’s cursed.” Souda produced a screwdriver and stepped forward, causing Gundam to widen his eyes and press his back more tightly against the machine. “Computers aren’t the devil, man. Lemme see if I can get your money back, ‘kay?”

“NO!” Gundam’s knuckles were going white, so tightly was he gripping the edges of the vending machine.

“Come on, seriously, this whole demon thing got old on the second week of school. It’s not gonna bite me, just-“

As Souda reached forward, Gundam suddenly lunged out and grabbed his wrist, looking frantic.

“You do not understand. This demon is WEAK! It is not YOU for whom I fear! If you lay a finger on it I shall unleash the curse in my hand, and your arm will wither in the fires of hell!!”

“OK, ok, WOW, no, don’t curse me!” Souda dropped the screwdriver and jerked his arm away. “I mean. Curses are fake, so… But on the off chance that they’re not, don’t curse me. I don’t believe in magic.”

“Indeed.”

“And don’t give me that smug look! I just got startled when you grabbed me!”

“No doubt.”

“Seriously, I’ll find a different vending machine, it’s… it’s cool.”

“Wait!” Gundam called out before Souda could back away far enough to justify exiting the conversation. Souda froze.

Gundam glanced around hesitantly at the empty courtyard, before leaning forward and whispering conspiratorially. “You say you truly have knowledge of the inner machinations of this devil’s shrine?”

Oh god, all he wanted was some chips; he didn’t deserve this. With a groan, Souda threw his hands into the air. “Just! For once! Can you talk like a normal person? I don’t know, probably? I don’t know what you’re saying!!”

He felt bad about the outburst immediately, especially when it was followed by a long, awkward silence, in which Gundam’s eyes bored into him more fiercely than ever, squinting with obvious effort. Sweat was beading on his face. Souda considered just making a run for it, on the off chance that curses were indeed real and Gundam was silently putting one on him.

“Can you,” said Gundam at last, in a strained voice, “Open. This vending machine.”

“There, was that so hard?”

“Yes.”

“Right. Uh. Sorry. Yeah. I can open it.” Souda rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “I mean, I did offer so… Yeah, I’ll get your money back. You’re gonna have to move. Promise I won’t disturb any demons or anything.”

“The machine didn’t,” said Gundam, sweat now running down his temples, “Eat. My money.”

“…Are you okay? S… stop talking like that. You can go back to your weird demon language, you look like you’re dying.”

Gundam exhaled heavily and slumped against the machine. “The tongue of mortals is as fire upon my lips.”

“…Cool?”

Gundam straightened up again and pointed dramatically at the vending machine. “This devil’s contraption stole not my worldly possessions. Come, listen. Perhaps your own power might succeed in going where mine cannot tread.”

“Ok, maybe there’s a happy medium, where I can still understand what you’re sayin-“ Gundam seized Souda by the shoulders, abruptly cutting him off, and shoved him carefully against the vending machine, so that the side of his face was pressed up against the plastic cover. “OK WELL NOW THIS IS HAPPENING.”

“Silence, you fool! Hear the voice of the demon trapped within this prison.”

Souda shut up. There WAS a sound from inside the vending machine; an indistinct squeaky little chirping from the other side of the plastic.

“It’s a bird,” he said, surprised.

“An infant _Alauda_ , as I have tried to warn you! A skylark chick! To set in motion this machine would be to destroy it!”

Souda stepped back at last, suddenly understanding. “Skylarks… They built a nest in here, right? You’ve been guarding it.”

Gundam nodded gravely. Souda stared at him.

“How long have you been standing in front of this thing?”

“A fortnight, this day. I have made it my duty to arrive as the sun rises, and depart only once the last denizen of this place has taken their leave of these sacred grounds, that none may use this machine. I daren’t abandon it for more than minutes at a time.”

“Wow.” He… actually hadn’t even noticed that Gundam had been skipping class. The breeder was quiet; he kept to himself and didn’t have much of a presence in the group. _He sits right next to me,_ he realized a little guiltily. _Did I seriously not notice he was standing outside in front of a vending machine for two weeks?_

“I need your help. I need… to get it out.” Gundam’s eyes were downcast. He was forcing himself to talk normally again, and it struck Souda suddenly how deeply Gundam _cared_ about this.

“Hey…” Souda swallowed and clenched his fists, steeling himself up for more of this weirdness, because damn it, he was entrenched thoroughly in this now. “Hey, of course. We’ll make that happen.”

Gundam’s relieved smile was immediate, and surprising. It wasn’t the smug, holier-than-thou smirk Souda had come to expect from him, which was somehow even weirder and more off-putting than if Gundam had just responded with more gibberish.

“Thank you! Souda, thank you!”

“Y-yeah, no problem.” Souda blinked, nonplussed. “Uh, is it gonna be ok if you move it? Can the parents find it again?”

“Naturally, if we stow it somewhere close, where the cries of their spawn may still be heard!”

“They won’t care if we touch the nest? I’ve heard this thing about how if they smell a human on it, they’ll stop feeding the chick, you know?”

“Tis but a myth. Spirits such as these care not for the aura of men.”

“Alright. Yeah, ok, let’s open this thing!”

Gundam hovered anxiously over his shoulder while Souda retrieved his screwdriver from the pavement and fiddled with the door of the vending machine, like a man watching his wife give birth. “Ah, gently, gently! Open it slowly, for should it be precarious, it may fall!”

Souda tried not to laugh. This was weird, but it was turning out to be kind of a good weird. “It’s fine, just be ready to grab it if it starts to fall. Ready?” He cracked the door open slowly, and Gundam immediately stuck his arm inside to steady the nest built haphazardly between the rows of chips and candy bars. “Got it?”

Gundam nodded, eyes wide.

Souda swung the door open the rest of the way, and Gundam cupped the tiny nest in his palm and eased it out gently. Among the fragments of marbled brown eggshell inside, the downy skylark chick peeped insistently at them both. The way Gundam’s face softened into a relieved, affectionate smile was sort of sweet, Souda thought. Two weeks of guarding this thing, and he was finally getting to _see_ it.

“You know, I always kind of thought of you as crazy, but this was actually pretty cool of you,” Souda told him, watching Gundam fawn over the chick while helping himself to as many snacks as he could fit into his numerous pockets. “Chocolate?”

Gundam reached out and took the offered candy bar without looking away from the nest. “As a keeper of spirits, it was merely my duty. This one’s aura is powerful, it shall grow into a strong beast one day.”

“Aaaand you’re back to crazy.” Souda’s smile didn’t fade. “Think we should… I dunno, name it or something? After saving it like that, I’m kind of attached to it now.” He leaned against the rows of snacks, and a moment later, Gundam leaned beside him.

“I know the true names of all demons.”

“Yeah, gonna ignore that. How about…” Souda looked down at his handful of snacks, and offered, “…Chip.”

“Chip suits it.”

“So where are you gonna put-“

The vending machine’s door slammed shut on them. Souda found himself crushed between smooth plastic and awkwardly pokey bits of springs and metal, too tightly to move, and Gundam’s scarf was smashed against the side of his head. “Ow ow ow oW OW WHAT THE HELL?”

“What you get for breaking into the machine, assholes,” came the derisive bark from the other side of the door, and as Souda tried to push it back open with his shoulders, someone kicked it forcefully, and there was the cold click of something latching into place and locking them in. 

“Hey, OW. I know that voice!”

“Yeah, you BETTER,” said Mondo Owada from outside the vending machine, kicking the door again and breaking through the plastic, flooding their cramped, sandwiched little world with a faint ghosting of light. “Think about this next time you break crap in my school. Nobody steals from these machines but me, got it? And just be glad it was me and not our class rep who caught you, because he would DESTROY you for vandalism like this, yeah?”

“You’re the one vandalizing it right now! That’s not even why we were-“ Souda began, and was drowned out by Gundam’s screaming.

“A THOUSAND PLAGUES UPON YOU,” Gundam shouted, slightly muffled, next to Souda’s right ear. “MAY YOUR MANHOOD SHRIVEL TO A FIG, AND THE IMPS OF THE SECOND PLANE DEVOUR IT!! _Incendium mortem, sanguinem mortem, turpissimum stultus mortem…”_

“Y…yeah, and we’re your upperclassmen!” Souda added over Gundam’s continued droned chanting, trying to sound more threatening than terrified. “You want to mess with us, you better be prepared to… uh…”

Owada kicked the machine a third time. “Ooooh, I’m so scared. Go _build_ something at me, Senpai.”

“Yeah well, I MIGHT! He… he’s walking away, isn’t he. Hey! HEY!! Okay, you win!! You got us! Owada! …Owada?”

There was a very cramped, very defeated silence in the vending machine for a while.

“Is the bird ok?” Souda asked, finally.

“Yes,” said Gundam, stifled.

“We’re… probably going to be in here a while.”

“Yes.”

 

—————

 

Naegi didn’t ask for this today.

All he wanted were some potato chips. But the vending machine in the courtyard instead rattled distressingly until the plastic on the front exploded outward, depositing two upperclassmen in a haphazard pile on the sidewalk at his feet. Naegi yelped and jumped backward, then watched, bizarrely entranced, as they disentangled themselves, wondering how on earth they’d both even fit inside the thing.

“T-this isn’t what it looks like!” The pink-haired one said hurriedly, leaping to his feet.

“I’m not sure what this is supposed to look like?” said Naegi, still staring, because the other boy was cradling a nest with a live bird in it.

“Yeah, well…” Souda pressed a bag of chips into his hand. “This machine is out of order,” he said stiffly, helping Gundam to his feet. “We’ll inform… somebody. Goodbye.”

The two of them walked away arm in arm with a kind of straight-backed dignity, the chick peeping loudly, and Naegi stared after them for a long time.

He wasn’t sure he wanted to know the story behind that.


End file.
